My buddy

Last night I decided to calculate out how many different places I've stayed in the past couple weeks, and I discovered that by the time I get to Guatemala on Friday night I will have slept in at least 8 different places/beds/states/countries in just 16 days.  Needless to say, I'm feeling pretty unsettled with all that moving around.  It's been great to be back in Michigan and Ohio, seeing friends and doing fun summer things, but it has also been harder than I expected to deal with so much transition.  I was also surprised at the feelings of post-camp blues that didn't show up until I returned to school--my home, with my good friends.  Apparently it's a common phenomenon, as I learned from my wise roommate, who's a camp counselor veteran.  As nice as it was to see all my old friends whose reunions I'd been looking forward to all summer, I also found myself feeling quite nostalgic and sad for the friends that I'd spent my summer living with and growing close to at Cannon Beach.

Today was freshman move-in day at school, and I was glad to be a part of it--but my heart wasn't fully there because I'm not a student leader this year (as I won't be here in the fall) and because of the emotions that seem to have taken hold of my brain.  Tonight I sit in the apartment that I will share next spring when I come back, listening to the freshmen and their upperclassman peer advisers get to know each other and play games outside, and part of me wants to join in the fun and visit my friends on campus who I won't see all semester.  I'm torn between seeing my friends, and taking advantage of the solitude I have tonight--it may be the last in a while.  But my introvert is showing big-time, and I am content to sit in the living room and mull over my thoughts.

Every time Guatemala comes up in a conversation, people always ask me if I'm ready.  I never know what to say to that.  Yes, I'm ready in the sense that my bags are packed, debit card is protected, and plane ticket booked.  But it's going to require trust and faith for this new journey.  I'm still very excited for Guatemala, but to be perfectly honest I'm a little apprehensive right now.  I hate admitting that, but it's the truth.  I'm not afraid of learning a new culture and meeting lots of people, or working hard to learn Spanish and sometimes making a fool of myself trying, or even getting sick.  But I'm still feeling a little overwhelmed.  I love change and new things, but these past couple of weeks have proved to be a bit much.  After all the moving around, repacking and reorganizing and reuniting (and saying goodbye), I am very ready to settle.  And I won't be able to settle for a while because I'm starting a new unfamiliar adventure in just two days.

Now is a time when I'm very grateful for the constancy of God.  Whenever I give my testimony, I talk about how I learned while in Ghana that God wants to be my buddy.  In Proverbs it says that Jesus is the friend that sticks closer than a brother, and that means a lot to me.  Going to school so far away from home means that I have most of my friends in Michigan and all my family on the West coast, and there's always lots of transitions and moving--so I really appreciate that God is always with me, no matter where I am or who I'm with.  When I struggle with something and I don't have a friend to talk to, God wants to listen and help.  His faithfulness and guidance is so much better than even the most amazing friend can provide.

I will keep relying on His strength as I embark on my Guatemala adventure.  I know it will be beautiful, and fun, and stretching.  Relationships will be formed and grown, and languages will be learned.  Even though I feel unsettled now, I know that I will have a blast and this semester will be incredible.

I am so glad that my Jesus is coming along.