This is the story of how I recently came to the decision to go to PA school. I've been telling quite a few people recently so I thought I would write it down.
I have always been interested in science, and I've known that I wanted to go into the medical field since at least my sophomore year of high school. I've debated about what route to take to get into medicine, but I usually come back to medical school--why not shoot for the highest? But I have never felt settled about that plan. For years I've debated and analyzed and prayed about whether I should go to medical school to become a doctor, or PA school to become a physician assistant. These jobs are similar in many ways, but certain things also make them very different. For example, medical school is 4 years after undergrad, followed by at least 4 years of residency training in a specialty such as emergency medicine, surgery, or psychiatry. PA school is about 28 months, depending on the program. A residency is optional, but provides for more training in a particular specialty. A physician, graduate of medical school, is the top of the pecking order in any medical team. A PA, like an MD, can diagnose and treat illnesses and injuries, prescribe medications, and provide primary care, as well as assist in surgery. However, PAs are required to practice under the supervision of a doctor. This doesn't necessarily mean that PAs always have doctors breathing down their backs, and in many cases the supervising physician trusts their PA(s) and their expertise and the PAs can practice much like independent practitioners. Sorry for all the medical gibberish, but hopefully the two jobs make a little more sense now.
So, the debate. I have always had a hard time with the amount of time required to become a doctor. As a woman, I want to be available to stay home with my kids, at least when they're young. I would love to homeschool. If I went to medical school, I would finish residency no earlier than the age of 30, and that's a long time to wait to start a family. I once talked to a OB/GYN who is also a mom to little kids, and a missionary, and she said that while it is hard, if God is calling me to be a doctor, a missionary, and a mom, he will make it work. That was what I hung on to for several years, until God finally gave me his answer. I was talking to one of my friends and I can't remember the topic of conversation but he mentioned how important it was for him that his future wife stayed home with their kids. That got me thinking again and I realized how important that is to me too! God has given me a passion for medicine and serving him with that, but he has also wired me to be a mom and take care of my family. For me, that life does not include becoming a doctor. Medical school and the life of a physician requires first priority in life, and while I may think and talk about medicine all the time, it is not my first priority. That would be serving God and my future family. Now let me just say that I do NOT think it is inappropriate for a Christian female to become a doctor and even a mom--if God has called them to do it, that's great! It is just not for me.
Anyway, as this realization sunk in, it became extremely clear in my mind that going to PA school would allow me to do what I love and serve God through medicine, and still be able to stay home with my kids. One of the things that was keeping me stuck on medical school was the title and the authority of Doctor. It is pretty awesome to be able to introduce yourself to a patient as Dr. Something, or jump in in an emergency and say "Hang on, I'm a doctor!" It's also pretty nice to be the one giving orders, making executive decisions, and leading surgery. And while I don't think it's wrong to want or be excited for those things--it is a great accomplishment and a rewarding job, the title and authority should absolutely not be the reasons for attending medical school. I think I would love medical school and would do well (with a ton of hard work!) but I could not let go of that rank. I didn't want to be an "assistant." I didn't want to introduce myself as "Mrs. ____." I didn't want to "help" in surgery. So in the past, all attempts to convince myself that PA school was the way to go were completely futile, mostly for this selfish reason.
BUT. This time around was completely different. God finally showed me that my pride was getting in the way. I don't need an MD degree to serve him in medicine! I will be able to treat patients and show them the love of Christ as a physician assistant, and I can say completely honestly that I DON'T CARE about the title! I don't care that I'm not going to medical school and I am super excited for PA school and being a mom. When my other pre-med friends prepare for medical school and are accepted, I am happy for them and I know they will do great and have fun, but I don't want to be where they are. I want to go to PA school. There is no doubt in my mind that God completely changed my perspective and revealed his will by making a jumbly question mark clear in my mind. He answers prayer! He really does. He takes his own time, but it works. Ever since God answered this one, I have felt completely freed. I can be excited for having a family someday instead of stressed about how I'm going to make it work. I will only be in grad school for 2-3 years total and the specialty or area I work in after I graduate will be much more flexible. Letting go of medical school has been so good.
The decision to go to PA school is only one small part of my next few years, and there are many more decisions to be made, and many more questions to be answered. I have no idea how it will all work out, but luckily God does. I have to keep remembering that he can do immeasurably more than all we can ask or imagine (Eph 3:20). Crazy how that works. I'm so glad I don't have to figure life out on my own.
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