Update: Another challenge has arisen because clearly I hadn't learned my lesson yet and God wanted to give me more trusting practice. My last semester of college I decided to drop anatomy and take pharmacology instead, which I absolutely reveled in. But anatomy is the last prereq for me to reapply to PA school next year, and it has proven to be EXTREMELY difficult to find a class for me to take here. You'd think in a city with some twelve universities I'd be able to find something. After spending several hours on this task on Monday, to say I was very frustrated would be an understatement.
I couldn't find any good possibilities on my own, and I was kicking myself for my decision to take anatomy out of my schedule (even though pharm was perfect for me in so many ways). But after a (fairly miserable) day to cool off, and an evening to myself, God started bringing me perspective again.
Oh my gosh just typing this out overwhelms me with thankfulness. I still don't have an answer about the anatomy thing but God is so faithful and so REAL.
Anyway, long story short there are only a few options left to me at this point, and they all have a catch of some kind or another. The easiest thing to do would be to take a fully online (with lab) course, which would mean I wouldn't be able to apply to OHSU's PA school--and as I've mentioned before, this is a place I've dreamed of going to for as long as I can remember.
But even though I had my time of freakout, I trust Him again. Last night, God started reminding me of all the things that are good in my life. I have so many things to be grateful for and to look forward to. Even when my faith fails, and I try to take control instead of trust, He is still faithful. Almost three years ago He made it absolutely clear that I should pursue PA school, and if that's still His plan for me, I know it will happen.
I don't need control. I just need to trust.
I love that line - I don't need control. I just need to trust. I love how we are both learning this in different situations. It's scary. But living in obedience to God is so much better. He knows what we need!! And He loves us so much.
ReplyDeleteThis passage from Hebrews 12 has been challenging me lately -
"Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children. For what children are not disciplined by their father? If you are not disciplined—and everyone undergoes discipline—then you are not legitimate, not true sons and daughters at all. Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of spirits and live! They disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, in order that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it."