The blogger emerges! I never intended to take a blog-writing hiatus for the entirety of PA school and then some, but the more time passed the more I felt I needed to catch up on for you, my readers. But I've decided that my PA school experiences will come out over time, since I have many pages of written memories from which to draw, just not quite blog post material yet. It has been an incredible 2.5 years of learning medicine, growing as a person, and making soul friends.
Today I want to write about my recent major life change and how present God has been throughout the whole process. After graduating from college, I worked a few different jobs and applied to PA school twice. Per His usual, God let me pursue my dreams and my "number one choices" and for the most part redirected me to something different and better, over and over. I didn't get in my first year, and I was immediately rejected from my dream school the second year. But God's faithfulness was revealed like never before (click here to read). The PA program I almost didn't apply to, and was initially at the bottom of my list, ended up being the perfect fit for me, and I am extremely proud and grateful to be a Pacific PA grad. I can't wait to come back and teach there someday (if that's something God has in mind).
As most of you know, I have relocated to the beautiful Atlanta, GA to do a post-grad residency in cardiology and critical care. Doing a residency was always my plan, because I want to get as much intensive training as possible (I'd do two if I could haha). After much prayer and research, I applied to two programs in January 2019, chosen based on curriculum, start date, reputation, and location. Then I did my cardiology rotation, and things changed. I've always LOVED cardiology--as a high-schooler you could find me scouring Wikipedia and taking notes, teaching myself cardiovascular physiology. The science of the heart, its electrical circuits, tight chemical balances, and circulatory system is just beautifully complex and fascinating. After spending a few weeks doing concentrated cardiology in both outpatient and inpatient settings, I knew I wasn't going to be able to leave it. I found a fellowship still in critical care but focused on cardiology, with rotations outside of the ICU in various cardiology subspecialties and cardiothoracic surgery. I have never written and submitted an application so fast.
I got my interview invitation in the middle of class when we were all back on campus and about lost my freakin mind. My friend and I were texting furiously on our computers and it was all we could do to not jump out of our chairs and dance around (which is exactly what we did when the lecture FINALLY ended about 20 minutes later). When I came here for the first time, hearing about the fellowship, meeting people, and touring the hospital, it felt so right. I crammed in a bunch of Atlanta touristy things during my trip, and I started to love this city. (I also went to the botanical garden, and told myself if/when I get the spot, the first thing I'll be doing when I come back is getting a membership--done.) I didn't hear back for 6 weeks, and had interviewed at another program and hadn't been giving this one much thought anymore, except to say that if by some crazy chance they called me out of the blue I would be beyond thrilled to accept. You can guess what happened then :)
That's when things started to come together and I could see that both this fellowship and Atlanta were exactly where God wanted me to be. Friends started connecting me with people they knew in Atlanta, and I met more people/PAs through various professional organizations. I felt like I had a community before I even came. One of the biggest ways God showed His faithfulness was providing me with housing. I was looking at apartments, hoping to live alone with Jesus, and finding no end of horrible reviews. Through a friend of a friend, I was introduced to a gal who loves her complex and loves Jesus, and I decided to just go for it. I had a lot of questions come up later, but I felt like God was providing the answer and I chose to trust Him (easier said than done), and trust my new friend. Let me tell you, this apartment is the THE BEST. It's in the perfect location in relation to the city, is spacious and beautiful, and is minutes from a ton of nature and recreation areas (there's a river and woods literally as my backyard). God knew I need to be surrounded by green, and He provided.
I'll write more about the fellowship later, especially since I'm going to be starting it in a week (SO PUMPED). The thing I want to focus on today is how many yeses God has given me. As I mentioned earlier, God usually doesn't give me what I think I want, because He has something better. But this time, He's said yes to my dream job, yes to a city I wanted to live in, and yes to an amazing apartment surrounded by nature (and provided a wonderful and fun neighbor-friend--I'm looking at you Pam). He's given me instant community here, and I haven't had a lonely day because I've been absorbed into an awesome, active friend group and have been meeting other people right and left. And here's the biggest thing that's been the most life-changing--my headaches are at an all-time low. In PA school, my migraines had become chronic and though I pushed through, they limited and controlled my life more than I'd like to admit. I'll go into more detail in a later post, but over the last 2 months, which have been full of transitions and both good and bad stressors, I've had more headache-free days per week than I have in who knows how long. Years. This is a huge gift God has given me.
It's actually kind of weird to look at all the things God has said yes to, and worked out in exactly the way I hoped they would. I've gotten used to my hopes and dreams being redirected, and I like the unknown a lot more now because that's when He leads me to places I never would have imagined. To be honest, it makes me wonder--what's the catch? Is this too good to be true? I don't think there's a catch, but I do want to keep perspective. I don't know why God decided to put me here, in the midst of so many yeses, and I don't know how long it will last until we go another direction. But I do know that He wants to give us joy. Sometimes joy comes from seeking Him when life is extremely difficult. Sometimes it comes from seasons when it feels like life is easy, and that's when it's crucial to remember that it's still from Him, and He deserves the glory and praise. He is so good and faithful.
When I created this blog over 6 years ago, I titled it If Any Joy, as a creative extension of Philippians 2, where Paul exhorts us to remember that if we receive encouragement, compassion, comfort, (or joy) from being united with Christ, it should translate into humility. That means others first, me second. That means seeing people and loving people like Jesus did.
So in this season of blessing, I want to give Him the credit. I pray that He continues to humble me so that through me, He can love His people.
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